I had to

Warning, this is a looooong ass post!

*CONTAINS 2 SPOILERS FROM FRIDAY NIGHT’S EPISODE*


I’m going to go ahead and jump on the band wagon.

When I say jump on, I’ve been on it from the start.

Love Island 2018.

It’s here and we’re nearing the end of our third week.

I’ve watched Love Island since ITV refreshed the show in 2015 and have been with it all summer, every year since.

There’s been a lot of buzz around this season, after the success of last season. Whilst last year was pretty good, it’s no season 2.

It’s so sad to hear this week that Sophie from season 2 has died, she was so young and was such a great person on the show and whatever her struggles or the reason, I hope she’s found peace. 

I have to admit that I’m definitely not as invested in 2018’s Love Island as I have been in other years. I haven’t really clicked with any of the people this year. I absolutely love Dani Dyer but she doesn’t get much air time so it took me a while. I just feel like ITV got bored with the casting this year. They just seem to have found a bunch of fitties with limited personalities and popped them in a villa. WHERE IS THE CHARACTER?! Don’t get me wrong, some of them seem like absolute babes but everything seems so toned down this year, I don’t know if it’s in response to a lot of backlash last year but there’s just something missing from this year’s show.

My character break downs

Rosie – Although she had that moment where the whole nation gave her a standing ovation, I thought she’d have more fire. Maybe that’s the effect of the villa, it makes or breaks you and I feel like her character may have taken a knock even before Adam’s behaviour.

Kendall – 10/10 to Kendall for giving the villa a go and unfortunate that she was one of Adam’s victims, but I also don’t think she was quite ready after her last relationship. The girl’s got balls coming in after that though and I hope it’s boosted her confidence rather than the attacks by Adam knocking her down. She showed that a failed relationship doesn’t define you. Girl power and all that.

Georgia – She’s a little cracker and she would be perfect if she had some more characters to bounce off of. I’d love to see her and Ellie on a night out together, I think they’d be a ball.

Samira – I don’t think she’s had much luck in the villa but also she can say some nasty things so I really can’t make my mind up about her. She seems like one of those girls that is such a good friend until you piss her off and then you’ll just be watching your back, shit scared.

Hayley – I practically cheered when she was voted to leave.

Laura – I really liked Laura until her recent spats with Wes. She seems like a cool girl to be friends with but I didn’t like that every time Wes said something she didn’t agree with, she would talk to him like a child. Whilst she says it doesn’t bother her, I think she needs to be honest and say that the age gap does make her slightly insecure. I wish it didn’t because they seem to work well together when they’re on the same page but when they’re not, she seems to be the one that acts like a child instead.

Dani – Where has this girl been hiding my whole life? How did a little flower like her come from Danny Dyer? She’s a sweetie and I want her to be my BFF. She’s also the girl I would couple up with.

Ellie – Obviously, she’s quite new but she seems like a little fire cracker. Not 100% sure if I trust her intentions with Alex but fingers crossed, as she seems like a nice girl.

Zara – Hun, stop saying you can be the girl to tame Adam, it ain’t happening. Run while you still can. Naive and I just want to see more of her on her own with the girls.

Megan – I just don’t know. She’s fit, goes without saying and she looks like Billy Piper. I can imagine she’ll get bored of Eyal’s shit pretty quickly outside the villa.

Jack – ABSOLUTE BABE. This is the guy you want your boyfriend to be BFFs with. He’s a sweetie and whilst he seems smooth with the ladies (and the boys), it doesn’t seem sleazy.

Eyal – I just don’t know if he hears the shit that actually comes out of his mouth or whether he smoked so much weed in his teens that his brain stopped developing. I just can’t. I also thought it was V E R Y interesting the way he lost his cool with Hayley, very interesting, where was all his zen then?

Alex – PAGING DOCTOR ALEX! I just want him to find love. I also want him to be himself. I found it so interesting on Love Island: Aftersun when they spoke to his friends and they said the Alex we’re seeing reminds them of Alex from their first year of uni. Which means, he’s feeling shy and uncomfortable, outside of his comfort zone, I wish he could just settle in

Niall – Whatever he had to leave for is such a shame, he had more to give and also, imagine the drama that could have been with Georgia, Niall and Josh!

Wes – My bae. There is just something about Wes, I love him. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, seems like a bundle of joy but I think he understands where the line is and when he needs to put his sensible head on.

Josh – I just want him to have more fun because I feel like he must be soooooooo much fun. Surely, you can’t land a job at LAD Bible without being fun? Also, he must be devastated that he’s missing the world cup as my boyfriend tells me he does the football stuff for LAD Bible.

Charlie – I’d really like him to come back. I wasn’t 100% sure on him but he definitely got voted out purely because of Hayley.

Sam – New boy alert. I am already intrigued. I think he’s going to ruffle a few feathers and I am so for him calling Adam out, as I’m sure, the rest of the country did! I think it’s fair to say, there’s plenty more to come.

Adam – I think it’s interesting that Cosmopolitan created an article raising awareness about a statement released Women’s Aid regarding Adam’s behaviour.

You can read the article HERE

I actually messaged friends after the episode to discuss it. I’m so glad Women’s Aid have called him out and that Cosmo have helped to spread the message because Adam’s behaviour was unacceptable. For a start, who laughs in a girls face when she is crying, particularly when you’re the reason for her crying? Secondly, how can someone be so arrogant to not listen to what is actually being said? Thirdly, ew.

I feel like Kendall got a lucky escape. When they originally introduced the line up for the first arrivals, I thought Adam was the only attractive guy going in, which explained why they sent him in last as the extra guy. His mum tweeted from his account saying he would never behave like that usually as he has two sisters but that she was disappointed in his behaviour. Not being funny love, I doubt he even thinks about his sisters when he treats girls like that. He did it so slyly, you 100% know that’s not the first time he’s done that. In fact, he’s done it twice in the villa alone.

What Adam did is known as gaslighting, Cosmopolitan explain it in their article and here are a couple of explanations, whilst lengthy, I’d give them a read. I’ve even referenced them, that £27,000 degree did make me learn something, plagiarism is bad, ha.

‘Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders.’ – Psychology Today 

‘Gaslighting is a malicious and hidden form of mental and emotional abuse, designed to plant seeds of self-doubt and alter your perception of reality. Like all abuse, it’s based on the need for power, control, or concealment. Some people occasionally lie or use denial to avoid taking responsibility. They may forget or remember conversations and events differently than you do, or they may have no recollection — say, due to a blackout if they were drinking. These situations are sometimes called gaslighting, but the term actually refers to a deliberate pattern of manipulation calculated to make the victim trust the perpetrator while doubting his or her own perceptions or sanity, similar to brainwashing.’ –Psychology Today

‘This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home. When his wife points it out, he denies that the light changed. Gaslighting is an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power. Gaslighting tends to happen very gradually in a relationship; in fact, the abusive partner’s actions may seem like just a harmless misunderstanding at first. Over time, however, these abusive behaviours continue, and a victim can become confused, anxious, isolated and depressed, while losing all sense of what is actually happening.’The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Adam made Rosie feel as if she was being ridiculous, as if everything was in her head. The same way he did to Kendall, whilst she was insecure, who wouldn’t be if their fiancé broke off their engagement, he played on it, he made her insecurities seem worse, like they had caused the break down in their couple. He made Rosie feel like she was constantly over reacting, when really she was reacting that way because he made her feel crazy and every time he told her she was being crazy, it made her act more crazy.

He was a master manipulator, it came so easily to him and after watching him “apologise” to Rosie, I don’t believe he was sincere at all. He apologised to save face because Sam called him out. That’s obviously my opinion, and Rosie accepted his apology but it really did not convince me at all. I think Zara needs to be really careful.

Dear ITV

I think ITV have a responsibility to call Adam out on his behaviour, it shouldn’t have to be up to Sam to go in and do it. We spend all summer watching these people find love and we talk about sex and how they’re coupling up but we need to talk about the issues that are associated with toxic relationships. They have such an amazing platform that they could use to talk about relationships and I just wish they’d use it. After backlash on last years series about smoking and sex on TV, they could have opened up discussion. They could have discussed health problems associated with smoking, they could have talked about why sex is frowned upon etc. They could give the islanders things to do instead rather than just not showing it on the TV!

So much could have changed in this season for the better, and instead I think they’re missing a trick. They’re missing some excitement that used to be there. We’ll see how the rest of the series goes and you can keep up to date with my thoughts through Twitter. I’ll also try to post another update on my thoughts on here towards the end of the series.

Personally, I hope Adam goes home soon.

I hope now that Rosie has been dumped from the Villa, she can see the support of the country so she knows she did her best and that everyone was behind her. I for one, can’t wait for Aftersun on Sunday and I hope Rosie gets her say on the issues, I also hope Caroline says something because I feel like it would be something she’d feel strongly about, and finally, I hope there’s a strong female character on the sofa to tell Rosie she did good.

You can read Women’s Aid’s statement HERE

Start a conversation gals and guys. Stick up for yourself, your sisters, cousins, mothers, daughters, brothers, sons. Gaslighting and abuse can happen to anyone at any level of your life, in any type of relationship, spousal, friendship or family. Speak up for your loved ones.

Obviously these are just my current thoughts, I don’t want to offend anyone, and I’m sure my opinions will change as the weeks continue. I am also fully aware that I cannot possibly understand their situation, nor can I ever fully understand what’s going on as we only see what the producers want us to see. Similarly, I understand that we only see a small fraction of each person’s personality and interactions but equally, they knew what would happen and that the public would judge their actions when they stepped inside the villa.

Image: My own – https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi_2XL5nb9T/?taken-by=cl_elliie

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